I am not supposed to have all these issues and problems...

I  am so conflicted with so many 1000s of things running through my mind. My "to do" list looks like the old-fashioned Sears catolog with as many different items on it.  I have several very dear friends, many right here in Lynchburg, who have health issues of a very serious nature and I can't do a thing for them. I want so badly to be able to help them as much as I can. My own health is fair except for the unpredictable and inexplicable fibromyalgia, but my bones, joints, mobility and endurance suck. I am anxious and worried ALL the time about everything that I SHOULD be doing, but can't.  I have 100s of good friends with whom I just want to share more real, quality time. I have a huge house that needs $1000s of dollars worth of remodeling done to it, weeks worth of deep cleaning and decluttering and a complete reorganization.  I take care of my 84 year old mother and she is needing more and more help every moment.  I have two stepsons who have issues from time to time that I want to not only be able to help, but I want to really help them both so much more in every way.   My poor, darling Jamey works 50+ hours a week and he is getting more and more worn out because he has to do all the things I can't do any more when he gets home from work and he takes care of me on top of all of this, God/ dess bless his soul for being the most wonderful and most overworked man in the world.  We have so many things that we want/need to do for ourselves, for our friends, for our communities and for the world if we- and especially I-only had better, flourishing  health, unlimited funds, tons more time and much better organization, not to mention the effective completion of all the tasks above.  And on top of this, I am having so much PAIN, I am having such limited mobility issues that I can hardly walk or even complete my Christmas shopping, wrapping, cooking, baking, and decorating..  I have never felt so useless and worthless in my life--NEVER!  And it is killing me as surely as it has already destroyed big chunks of my heart and soul.  I have no idea what to do, how to do any of these 1000s of things that MUST be completed.  Just not doing them is not an option.  I have tried to bribe my kids with offers of money if they would please help, but they both have  full time jobs and virtually no free time.  I have offered again and again to pay people to come to our home and make some extra money and complete some of these 1000s of tasks for us.  I have outside work and inside work that needs to be done.  Everything I own needs to be taken in by at least two sizes.  I  have two huge sets of stairs and things need to go up or down all day and I can barely drag myself up and down them twice a day.  I have Christmas decorating that hasn't been done in years because we just never have time.  NOT getting this stuff done is killing me, but I only have about 4 or sometimes fewer good hours in a day.  I try to get out of bed by noon.  I take pain killers and try to clean up the kitchen, bathroom and main floor of the house.  The pain killers always run out before I am done and I can only have 4 a day.  Do I work or sleep??I can't run the vacuum or cook because it kills my hips and my lower back and so we live in piles of dog and cat hair and eat pizza (gluten free for me) far too often.  No one wants to cook and I am in desperate need of large, healthy, old-fashioned, home cooked meals for my Mom since she needs to gain weight and for Jamey, Greg and Steve who are all working full-time with no time to cook.  I am on the opposite type of almost Paleo diet of grass fed meat, vegetables and salads with no grains, only berries allowed for fruit with coconut yogurt in the morning, no dairy, no sugar, no junk food of any kind.  A lot of times I can choose to cheat or just starve and not eat at all.   Many times I am in too much pain to make anything for myself, so Jamey will bring me a salad or something like that to eat.   Or we get pizza which is destroying my diet...  I am at my wit's end.  I need help, lots of help.  I am willing to pay for this help.  But it seems like no one is able to help and I am about to crack into the 1000 pieces of all my responsibilities that I cannot get done while I am in this bad of shape.  I have a total hip replacement scheduled for my left side for March 3, then in 6 months or so, I will have my right hip done, then my left knee, wait another six months and then my right knee, and after that I may need some surgery on my back... If I don't go crazy before then...